When it’s matter about doing a work In a special mood, Which will make that work better, then you’ve to confidant about it and about your ability. So get set ready to go.
Self-confidence is one’s ability to judge his own social and personal standing with respect to his environment and be able to derive satisfaction out of it.
Self-confidence is influenced by factors like upbringing, work environment, and levels of dedication towards pursuing a cause. High self-confidence is an important factor in improving business ties and balancing personal life.
There is a famous saying that when you start the journey of your professional life, have confidence in your abilities. Because you have not proven your abilities yet.
Right from the early times through the evolution of the human society, this saying couldn’t be truer in the context of the present. These are extremely competitive times that we are living in, and self-confidence is one of the biggest pillars of strength and self-sustenance for a human being, more so now than ever.
In this post we will teach you more about self-confidence and later you will learn more about self-esteem. So let’s start this session point-to-point to better understand it. We will show you right theory along with and how to increase your self-confidence too.
Why Need Confidence?
Being confident about your strengths helps you draw courage and resolution when the going gets tough in life. It helps you to keep things in perspective and back yourself when everyone else says that the task ahead is nearly impossible to complete in the stipulated time.
A confident person has enough ability to understand his limitations and knows how to make up for that with his resolve and strengths.
Now that we have understood how self-confidence depends on your perceived ability to manage an action, let’s discuss the actions that help cultivating a sense of self-confidence.
Action That Help Cultivating sense of Self-Confidence.
Self-confidence thrives in an atmosphere where the person is provided constructive feedback and the focus is always on the positive.
In such a working environment, a confident person will be able to practice his skills and talent beyond expectations, as he will get an opportunity to setting goals, forget his own past mistakes, and learn new things.
On the other hand, a person’s self-confidence can be seriously hampered in an environment where there is constant comparison with others and where expectations are unrealistic. People are pitted against each other as per their performance in the numbers game.
In these conditions, a person will be forced to nurture an unhealthy competitive mentality by resorting to unfair means for success, listening to unworthy role models, being too harsh in judging his own performances, and underestimating his own capabilities.
Such an environment breeds an unhealthy workplace where the stress is more on beating one another’s performances, as opposed to coming together as a team in helping one another. Such companies might peak for some time, but they ultimately crash.
People with high self-confidence.
People with high self-confidence approach their problems differently as compared to others. They know the importance of building relationships and hence, they love meeting new people to get and share new ideas. It is this quality of theirs that makes them likeable, as they are always willing to be in a conversation that gives equal importance and respect to all those who have participated in it.
Confident people love expressing their ideas in front of others, as they are emotionally secure enough to take constructive criticisms and reject emotional ones. That doesn’t mean that they are arrogant; on the contrary, they give everyone the opportunity to put their points forth. However, they have the courage to stick to their decision in spite of a lot of opposition to their ideas, if they are convinced what they are doing is right.
There are two outcomes to any decision taken – either it turns out to be the correct one, or you fail. However, what sets a confident person apart is that he doesn’t boss around on detractors when he succeeds.
In addition, a self-confident person has the humility to acknowledge his mistakes and learn from them when he fails. This objective approach towards both success and failure is what makes a confident person a lovable and respectable personality.
People with low self-confidence.
When compared to people with high self-confidence, people with low self-confidence have a very harsh and critical view of themselves. They are prone to taking emotional decisions, as opposed to thinking rationally. They tend to be in their “caves” instead of meeting new people. They try to shun new company and avoid meeting new people.
An under-confident person tend to feel that he has nothing consequential or constructive to add to any process. This feeling of low self-worth, combined with a complete denial towards any change, makes an under-confident person extremely susceptive to mistreatment and undervaluation.
People with low confidence hesitate in sharing their thoughts and opinions, as they think their views will be ridiculed in public. In addition to this, their past experiences and interactions with people have not done anything to enhance their self-worth and change their views about their productivity and importance.
This is where a productive atmosphere comes in play. Every person learns from his surroundings and your self-confidence depends directly on the kind of people you meet and the type of discussions you have with them. While self-confident people interact with people whom they have something to learn from, under confident people are convinced that they cannot change and are going to be undervalued in spite of what they do.
Effects of Low Self-Confidence
Every person needs someone who he can idolize and follow so that he gauges his own talents, achievements, and progress in comparison to that person and constantly improves. This is exactly what self-confident people do. While interacting with others, reading about others, and putting their ideas in public to gain perspective, they constantly improve their skills and knowledge.
But what happens when people stop doing that? They tend to lose focus, as they don’t have any anchor left in their life who can stabilize them when they are getting adrift. When interaction with society is stopped, a person tends to think about himself and that reflects in the way he accepts criticism. Even constructive criticism for his work will appear personal criticism for him, as his approach would have become extremely self-centered by then.
People with low self-confidence tend to think they have no talent or skill to complete a given task and be appreciated. In fact, genuine praise for a good effort comes to them as a surprise and they perceive that as fake appreciation.
How to build Self-Confidence (Theory)
People need some positive image about themselves so that they can identify their strengths and weaknesses. People with low confidence often lapse into a mental state where everything becomes a weakness and every observation appears personal. This leads to further self-degradation.
It is often observed that small children, especially those who have working parents, tend to channel their loneliness in the form of an imaginary friend. They talk to this “friend”, ask opinions of him and generally are comfortable with the idea of an invisible but constantly present friend.
Most of them grow out of this phase in life when they start going to school and start making actual friends, but the voice always stays with them. Many people tend to give themselves either positive self-talk in the time of seeking motivation, or negative self-talk in the time of handling failure and subsequent criticism.
Just like any unreasonable person who is hell-bent on proving you wrong, the solution to tackling and eventually silencing the “inner critic” is also in having a calm, logical, and resolution-oriented talk with it. Try to enter a calm discussion with it as that will help you identify areas where your approach is not what others expect out of you. It will help you realize where you are going directionless so that things can be brought back to track.
There is nothing wrong in having a few imperfections. Given a wish to change a few things about us, many would wish they could change or modify something or the other about themselves. However, that doesn’t mean that we will continue hounding ourselves with an extremely critical view of things. For the same reasons, we must be compassionate in assessing others on their work and performance.
Compassion is a winning quality, in the sense that people with inspirational personalities often are compassionate towards fellow co-workers and other people in general. It’s a quality that prevents us from being too critical and demanding of others and ourselves and allows scope to understand issues on a practical basis.
Compassionate people use specific and pleasant language while interacting with people around them. They feel comfortable with explaining their ideas and taking suggestions from others, irrespective of the professional hierarchy they share with their colleagues. They forgive mistakes and learn from them, have an acute awareness of their strengths and know how to use them to their advantage.
It has been found that when someone empathizes with the people he is talking to, the other person tends to feel more comfortable in sharing personal issues that are influencing his professional life and performance. Compassion makes it possible for people to step into other person’s shoes and understand the situation from that perspective, which is the hallmark of brilliant communicators.
In a world that is as competitive as the one that we live in now, there is every chance that the work you put up for inspection or approval will be met with criticism. It could come from peers, seniors, and colleagues who have worked with you in the past or have known you for a long time.
While some critics could be justified in their observations and following them could really bring in a lot of improvement in your product, there will be a few who would pass judgment purely based on emotional reasons like personal hatred, jealousy, one-upmanship, etc.
Remember that you cannot satisfy everybody. It is just not possible. There will always be scope for improvement, but you need to think practically as to what is the set of parameters that you need to keep the quality of the output under.
Many qualities go behind developing a resilient personality. The first one would be the ability to learn from failures and bounce back as quickly as possible. However, a lonely person cannot fight his way back to an operative state that early. It takes a lot of self-belief and grit to bounce back from a failure and regain ground.
He would need a strong network of friends and associates who are supporting in nature and positive-minded in their approach. A resilient person also has a quality to be able to design a realistic plan and manage to implement it. Unrealistic targets and impossible demands are something that a person with resilience would avoid at all costs, simply because of the lesson he would have learnt from his previous failures.
Life is a hard teacher. It lets us fail a test first and then delivers the moral of the lesson. While many might find it unjust, that is the way things are. Now it is up to you to either keep complaining day in and day out about bad luck, missed opportunities, and the way things are going wrong in life. Or, you could decide that enough is enough and it is high time you got success in life.
We are surrounded by people who have faced at least one big failure in their life. Whereas almost all succumb under the weight of that one big guilt, there are a few who used their failures as a springboard to climb to greater heights.
It is often found that passion can be fleeting in nature. You may start on a venture with great fervor and gusto, but it might so happen that after a few days, you will experience the wind getting knocked out of the proverbial sail.
It is very important to keep motivating yourself about your dream and where it is that you want to reach in the end. It is only then you will be able to motivate people around you to re-engage with full determination and added energy, even after they have faced defeat in the first round.
Humility is an endearing quality to a lot of people. There’s a saying that greatness awes you, familiarity connects you. Humility makes people love and respect you as they equate your success with your being humble. Nobody likes a person who’s arrogant and excessively proud of his achievements.
Having said that, even humble people fail at times. The difference is in the way of accepting a failure. Where aggressive people will try to turn around and blame anyone in their line of sight for a failure, a humble person would first look inwards and identify areas of improvement in him, before passing judgment on anybody.
The way you behave with people is the way they remember you as. Self-centered arrogant people don’t carry an influential aura around them. They were successful despite their superior attitude, and not because of it. People would do well to understand the difference. Anyway, the times of these kinds of bossy people have long come and gone, for good.
When you are talking of creating healthy relationships, you are talking of quality, priority, and flexibility. No relationship can survive on aggression and complete control lying with one person only. Inviting and encouraging people to share their opinions with you makes them feel equal and important, which in return, helps them in contributing better.
Passion is very important to be a success in the face of adversity. It is the quality that can inspire people to continue pursuing their goals, as passionate people don’t equate things they are passionate about with work.
Senior recruiters always give more importance on the amount of passion a young candidate has towards his job. The reason being that if his passion goes beyond mere earning and feeding the family, then he will one day dream of creating something new and bringing a new initiative for the company.
Self-confidence is only an umbrella term for a lot of things. Emotional constraint, humor, empathy, resilience, string relationships, all go into creating the personality that exudes self-confidence.
A self-confident person would know how to say things that are honest without hurting others sentiments. A self-confident man also knows how to be heard with dignity, when there is a difference of opinion. All this takes practice, but the most important thing is the belief that you can be better. This is the cornerstone for any improvement in the world.
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In this world we live in, self-esteem is seen as a personal trait which tends to be enduring and stable and encompasses within itself a host of beliefs about one’ self. Self-esteem means different things to diverse people. To some it means feeling good and loving yourself unconditionally. To others it is a feeling which is at the center of ones being of self-confidence, self-worthy and respect. It is very vital for one to have high self-esteem as it paves the way for love and success in life (Bruceeisner, 2012).
People often overlook the importance for individuals to have a healthy or positive self-esteem. A healthy of positive self-esteem is delineated by various qualities such as being able to accept responsibilities for one’s own actions, respect and tolerance for others, being able to handle criticisms, being able to take charge of one’s own life, taking a great pride in your own achievements, possessing a great level of integrity and loving others and being loved. Majority of people in the community especially those in the business and entrepreneurial sectors believe that possessing a healthy or positive self-esteem will aid in being a successful professional in your field of work.
In the medical field of the economy, doctors, nurses and other people working in the medical community have a belief that possessing a positive self-esteem is very crucial in the maintenance of a healthy life by individuals. In contrast to the thought that a positive or healthy self-esteem is vital in an individual’s professional life, it also plays a very important role in alleviating a psychological disorder.
When an individual possess a low self-esteem, he or she tries to make impressing others or proving themselves to others a focal point in their lives. This is deemed to be a total waste of one’s time and energy and can even result in psychological disorders. A person without a healthy or positive self-esteem tends to have contempt towards people and usually acts arrogantly. They usually blame themselves for their actions and failures, lack confidence in themselves and mostly doubt their acceptability and self-worth (Reasoner, 2012). These elements does not only show the negative part of an individual’s life but also these elements are quiet unhealthy to the emotional well-being of an individual. This is because an unhealthy or negative self-esteem is very bad to an individual’s emotional health. This backs the fact that a healthy or positive self-esteem indeed can aid in alleviating psychological disorder.
One of the peculiar psychological disorders that are mostly stroked by self-esteem is known as Borderline Personality Disorder. Individuals are not willing to validate their feelings for other people or trust others when they usually do not feel good about themselves. People who possess borderline personality disorder coupled with a poor self-esteem can exasperate the anger which is mostly present with this type of psychological disorder. More often than not, a burst of angry tirade is as a result of a lot of unresolved issues which has not been solved. The only way a person with borderline personality to assert his or her feelings or thoughts is through anger. It can be noted that, having a healthy or positive self-esteem can help alleviate this issue and curtail the issue of anger associated with borderline personality.
An individual who possesses borderline personality psychological disorder most often associate some form of suspicion to people who want to be their friend. A person with this kind of psychological disorder have a feeling that their friendship with others will end as time goes on because they think they have nothing to offer in the new friendship, which is actually wrong. Possessing a healthy or positive self-esteem can aid an individual who has a psychological disorder like the borderline personality to comprehend the fact that they deserve to be happy and to achieve success in everything that they do, be it in their professional life or personal life and also to know their worth. A typical example of is when an individual gets a job that he or she has always wanted, let say a dream job, a person possessing a psychological disorder like borderline personality will position himself or herself for failure. They may vie the opportunity given them as a mistake and can even flare up at the employer for placing them in a position to fail. On the other hand, an individual with a healthy or positive self-esteem will realize that he or she indeed deserves the job and will recognize and appreciate the opportunity given him or her to achieve success. A person with a healthy self-esteem will thank and appreciate the one who gave him that opportunity.
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Self-esteem is very important to an individual’s well-being and mental health as it has the capability of leading him or her to a more deserving social behavior and better health. It is to no surprise that low self-esteem is often characterized with range of broad social problems and mental disorders like eating disorders, depression, suicidal tendencies and anxiety. Some schools of thoughts in the field of medicine, most notably in the field of psychological disorders, believe that healthy physical and mental health are as a result of comprehending the development of self-esteem and it outcomes.
Self-esteem can therefore be explained as the sum of a person’s knowledge and beliefs about his or her personal qualities and attributes. It is a cognitive composition that combines the concrete and abstract views about one self and also controls the possession of information of self-relevance. An individual who possesses suicidal tendencies has the urge or feeling or hurting himself or herself as he/she feels unhappy and unworthy. This shows that having a healthy or positive self-esteem alleviates any negative emotions and feelings an individual with any form of suicidal tendencies possess. Research has proven that self-esteem is a very crucial psychological factor which contributes to quality and healthy life. It has also been proven with research that subjective well-being extremely corresponds with high self-esteem (Zimmerman, 2000). It pays a major role in the mental well-being and happiness of individuals.
In the nut shell, self-esteem and mental well-being of an individual is directly related. Any alter in a person’s self-esteem be it high self-esteem or low self-esteem will affect the psychology of that person. A healthy or positive self-esteem definitely helps in alleviating psychological disorders and puts an individual on the pedestal of high belief and confidence in him or herself.
- Bruceeisner, D. (2012). Meaning of Self-Esteem. Squidoo Journal Website
Retrieved from: http://www.squidoo.com/self_esteem
- Reasoner, R. (2012). The True Meaning of Self-Esteem. National Association for Self-Esteem Website
- Zimmerman, S.L. (2000). Self-Esteem, Personal Control and Optimism. Midwestern University. Dissertation Abstract.
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